Everyone knows that the end of the world is going to come by way of a giant comet smashing into the earth or via some superbug that will sweep the planet and turn us all into flesh-eating zombies. If it’s the comet, none of us have any chance of surviving, but if it’s a zombie apocalypse, then a bit of forward planning could see you survive until that antidote is found.
Or until you become a flesh-eating zombie yourself, in which case you’ll past caring anyway.
So, in no particular order, here are the five best vehicles for tackling a zombie apocalypse…
MERCEDES-BENZ G63 AMG 6X6
Things are going to get messy, so you’ll need a sturdy set of wheels that can cope with anything the zombie apocalypse can throw at it – whether that’s driving clean through a zombie flashmob or doing some extreme off-roading.
And there are few vehicles as equipped to do this as the Mercedes G63 AMG 6X6 – yes, a six-wheel drive, a surprising off-roader than can deal with any terrain, wade through water over a metre deep, bull bars, a winch and enough room in the cab for five.
And if you’re still not convinced, just look at it it! It’s like it was made with a zombie apocalypse in mind…
The Mercedes G63 is good, and an ability to wade through over a metre of water can’t be sniffed at, but it’s not going to be enough if you’re stuck on an island full of hungry undead!
If that’s the predicament you find yourself in, then a VW Schwimmwagen could be just what you need. Ok, so it was created for use by the Nazis in WWII, but we’re in a zombie apocalypse here, and the Beetle never suffered from any kind of fascist hangover – and that’s essentially what the Schwimmwagen is; an amphibious Beetle.
Designed by Ferdinand Porsche and based on the early VW Type I, the Scwhimmwagen is powered by a rear-mounted Beetle engine and a drop-down propellor that connects to the crankshaft to power it through the water, while the front wheels act like rudders to steer it around.
It’s a bit on the slow side, but it’s just as capable on the water as it is on land.
What if you need to make a quicker amphibious getaway than the Schwimmwagen will allow – say the zombies are more 28 Days Later than Dawn of the Dead? Then look no further than the Gibbs Aquada – it looks like a Mazda MX-5 for watersports enthusiasts and it’s even more fun whether on land or sea.
Its three-seat layout means there’s only room for a driver and two passengers – so choose your companions carefully – but it’s designed to be quick off the mark whether on land or sea and will leave any type of flesh eating zombie for…err…dead.
It’s powered by a 175HP V6 engine and instead of propellers it has a jetski-style water jet system that’s capable of speeds of up to 35mph. And once in the water its wheels fold up like James Bond’s Lotus in The Spy Who Loved Me.
If you’re still not convinced of its capabilities, Richard Branson set the English Channel crossing record in one of these – so you can be away from zombie-bitten Britain and over to France in just one hour and forty minutes.
Sportsmobile 4X4 Camper Van
If the A-team didn’t all have loving homes to go to at the end each adventure, they’d surely have bedded-down in one of these 4X4 camper vans.
The best thing with this is there’s room for a full crew of apocalypse survivors and all the provisions you can grab when ransacking the now derelict supermarket for provisions. And once you’re fully loaded you can then escape to the high ground, bouncing zombies off the bodywork as you go, and scramble for the high ground, where you can relax, make tea and even get some sleep before it’s time to stock up again.
A big-rig truck
If you really want to see this zombie apocalypse through to the bitter end, you’ll probably be best getting your hands on a big-rig truck – there’s enough space in the cab to transport and sleep a team of you, and if the trailer is still attached you can load with all the ammo and supplies you’ll need to see you through to doomsday – which may not be that far off!
On the downside, they are thirsty beasts – some US big-rigs pull in as little as 6mpg! – but as no-one will be paying for fuel anyway, just fill her up and let the hoards of zombies try to do their worst!