There are some cars out there that can get even the most chronic motorphobe’s engine running – and then there are cars so boring and built so badly that you’ll wonder how they ever made it into production. Cars like these…
Essentially a tin box on wheels, the Lada Riva hit the UK in 1983 and immediately became the butt of playground jokes for fledgling petrol-heads the country over. It looked as though someone at Lada had taken a child’s drawing of a car and put it into production – a bit like ‘The Homer’ but without the bubble and the fins.
It was also awkward and ungainly to drive and basic beyond comprehension – this was 1960s engineering re-imagined by Russians. Its low price tag, however, meant that it still sold well across the UK.
Another car that quickly became the subject of playground jibes was the Skoda – usually along the lines of “See that Skoda? That’s your dad’s car, that is!” – and it’s not hard to see why as this rear-engined feat of Czech engineering was hardly the most exciting car to look at.
When the rear-engined cars came to the end of their production run in 1990, no-one could have predicted the cars meteoric rise to credibility once VW had taken the reins, and the Skoda Octavia is now our tip for number one family car of 2015.
The Eastern Bloc doesn’t have the monopoly on boring cars – the UK has produced its fair share of dreadful motors, and the has arguably been none worse than the Austin Allegro.
This car rolled off the British Leyland production line for a decade between 1973 and 1983. It’s a toss up as to whether its unpredictable handling or a square steering wheel were its best feature. As with many British-built cars of this period, it would rust at the merest threat of rain; rather unfortunate for Blighty’s infamous climate.
Austin also took the odd decision to make it look like a hatchback when it was actually a much less practical saloon.
Just as the Eastern Bloc doesn’t have the monopoly on boring cars, neither does the 70s and 80s as the early-2000s introduced the CityRover to a thoroughly underwhelmed public.
A sort of Austin Metro for the new millennium, the CityRover was just not just as uninspiring as its predecessor, but being nothing more than a rebranded version of the Tata Indica, its build quality was also called into question.
The car was described by James May as “the worst car he’d ever driven [on Top Gear]” and it also made Top Gear Magazine’s list of the 13 worst cars of the last 20 years.
Its no surprise then that the car had a production run of just two years.
What do you think – have you seen a car more boring than any of the above? Leave a comment!